Rob Poynton

Spoken in English. Their words, as they said them.

John Oliver How was it?

Amazing. Amazing. Beautiful, unique, entertaining, confusing, relaxing, all at different points.

I think what it did for me is it it just made so visible the kind of monkey mind. And that was what I was laughing at I think. You know, because it was so insistent, it was hilarious that here we are sitting in silence and then there's this racket going on you know. And and and and just seeing it being able to see it that clearly kind of coming and going and and and never, you know, I just thought it was hilarious.

And then getting really interested in where do the when when and where do the words come in the words in my head and and for an early period, I was I never decided not to speak, and it wasn't a goal. That was what was amusing about MonkeyMind is it kept having all these goals. Right? What about if you do this, if you do this, and then you told John this, and afterwards he'll do that, and all that stuff. So that was what was amusing. So I didn't have that as a goal. So but early on there was definite difference between in each moment choosing not to speak. I will choose not to speak now. I'll choose not to speak now. I'll choose not to say that. That doesn't need saying. To then settling into a point where I didn't want to speak or it didn't feel that I needed to speak. So that was qualitatively different.

And here I had a very palpable sensation of energy. And it was kind of like I'm not if I, if I do that, then it's, then my energy's going away. And I want, I want this. I want this for me. Not for me actually. No. I want this for that which I am engaged with. It wasn't an ego driven thing. The ego was up here. That was a different plane. That was really interesting to me. Me.

My mind was scurrying downhill with a rush and an excitement of energy about something like chasing a rabbit, but not it's very hard to describe.

I was chasing a rabbit. It wasn't that my mind was scurrying after thoughts. And so I could feel the sort of downhill motion and I let myself go with it and that was energizing and exciting.

So, yeah, that was in the quiet time after the laughter. There was the chatty time and then the laughing time and then the quiet time. That's how it felt to me.

And there was also trust in you. I spent a good amount of the time looking at you, though I didn't make that a role as as a rule either. But it was like a mantra, you know, was meeting your gaze in so much as it's possible, this technology. And and so there was a a sort of double feeling there of was of of so I am sharing a moment with John. Well, however long it was. I have no idea how long it was, but this I have never done this before ever with anybody. So I've been alive fifty six years or however long it is, and I've never spent a good period of time sort of exchanging this kind of concentrated gaze with somebody and within that then thinking well but john has done this before and so if this needs to be somehow other than how it's being I imagine right they'll do something about So there was a sort of sense of, of kind of the trust and also a sense of, kind of wonder.

The experience made me feel how much is how close at hand, and it's right there and but we're so rushing around, skating around, and we and we skim by it the whole time and and and it it's just right there and I sort of came together and I thought at one point I thought, oh my goodness, I mean this is a cliche, but it acquired a new roundness for me, which was that my experience of life is almost entirely of wanting to be somewhere else or someone else. Even if it's like, oh, I fancy a cup of tea. I've already moved myself into the desire and the acting of the getting of a cup of tea and there was there was a period there with a bird Twitter Twittering and a and a car door shutting where I thought this is my life right here. This, this. This is it. Can I and can I be with it? You know.

There was a point in that time where I got really interested in in words in a different sense. So there's the words of what I'm calling the monkey mind, the the the incessant small childlike chatter of insistent thing. And then there was a essentially your as I look at the screen, there's your face, which I can see and and but pretty much everything else is black. And that blackness seemed beautifully kind of pregnant almost. So that I felt that, I thought, gosh, if I could find myself in this space when writing, I felt like I could, there wouldn't be very many words floating around in this space, but the but the noisy ones would have died away. And the ones that I could kind of oh, there's one. That's how it felt that I could, see them clearly and cleanly and choose few, because there were few, because the space was clean. And I thought to myself, oh, this is amazing. This is perhaps all I have to do.' And it reminded me of the writing I did on Sunday in the graveyard, where I didn't set out to write, and I did find myself in this quiet still place, and the words did come and came readily.

One particular phrase just immediately appeared and landed on the page and stayed there and turned out to be a very strong powerful image, the image of the stone arch. And, you know, the phrase was, you know, there are stone arches littered throughout our lives. And that rarely happens in my writing process. So there was echoes of that Sunday experience here of of of, oh, so still still still yourself, still and then things will come and fewer things will come, but they will come more. It's interesting I keep using the word cleanly.

And I think that's you know certainly in the first few minutes here it was kind of like oh my goodness it's right here it's right here all you have to do all you have to do is is is let it come. All you have to do is be there for it. So it's not nothing actually. It's almost nothing. But it's but it is right there. And and I can't help but gesture. It's like I can I feel like I can touch it, you know? Amazing.

Very glad to have to have done that, John.

John Oliver Thank you, Rob.

John Oliver This is everyone is a privilege to to to to connect in in these filming, so it's, it's a great adventure for me.