Zafer Achi

Spoken in English. Their words, as they said them.

I was thinking that if I were to look over my life so far and ask myself, what would have been a thing I wish I knew from the beginning? From the beginning of the time when I started making my own autonomous choices? What is the one thing that I wish I knew?

It's this idea that whenever we make a choice, we're actually choosing one side, whether we know it or not, one side of a polarity. We're always choosing.

And we, by virtue of making that choice and not being aware, that it is actually balancing something else.

I've tended to stay with those choices way too long and dip in, the downsides of it. And then wake up battered and look up and make some other choice and do the same thing again.

So that, that thing, that wisdom, that any choice actually has a, has a hidden counter choice or hidden balancing choice.

And maybe the recipe of a good life or the recipe of pain less painful life, less suffering in your life is to be aware of that and be able to dance between those worlds that is really really helpful wisdom.

This question of how do you how do you how do you invite younger people into the wisdom of age? I guess that's an eternal question for humankind.

I'm like struggling with it myself with raising my kids.

One way I've given up on is the idea of, like arguing exactly the opposite of what they want, or what they choose, which which many parents do as a way of straightening up their kids.

And so the question of transferring wisdom to use is becomes the question if that's true becomes the question of accelerating the development in the sense that you and I understand development to me, accelerating the development of youth. How can you how can we support them as they grow greater complexity of being?

Do we have to wait decades for the people, for people to, start, you know, moving beyond an egocentric?

Sense of self identity etc. Or polarized. Does it have to does it have to happen in your 50s? You know, can it happen in your 20s and 30s? That's another area that I'm really, interested in, curious about.

Wanting to contribute to.

I've seen many more cases of development spurred by breakdown than development, engineered or facilitated in a deliberate intentional fashion. Many more cases. And interestingly, even in the case it like for example, as a coach, I have, without taking undue credit, I have worked with clients that I have really helped through thresholds. And so I supported them. I probably accelerated their transition. But the material that we used in that supportive work that I did with them was their challenges, their difficulties, their breakdowns, their, emotional distress, their banging their head against the wall, trying to do something and being unable to. So even in a supportive environment it's just we create a composite breakdown from smaller breakdown experiences or smaller difficulties.